ציטוטי אוכל

מאת עודד ~ 12 בפברואר, 2010. בקטגוריית: אותי זה מצחיק.

"It's not burnt, It's caramelized!" (Anthony Warrel Thompson)

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead." (Woody Allen)

"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small." (Woody Allen)

"I hate people who are not serious about their meals." (Oscar Wilde)

"Lettuce is divine, although I'm not sure it's really a food." (Diana Vreeland)

"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry." (Mike Kalin)

"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate." (Jo Brand)

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol" (Steven Wright)

"I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!" (Steven Wright)

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." (Steven Wright)

"Health food makes me sick." (Calvin Trillin)

wasntchicken

"מקדונלד'ס בטוקיו הם נקמה נוראית על פרל הרבור" (סי איהקאווה)

"איך אתה מצפה לשלוט על מדינה שיש בה 246 סוגי גבינות?" (שארל דה גול)

"אמור לי מה אתה אוכל ואומר לך מי אתה" (בריאט סאבארין)

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper." (Benjamin Franklin)

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." (Anonymous)

"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the microwave." (Lori Dowdy)

"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. I say, are you going to drink that?" (Lisa Claymen)

"The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am." (Charles Pierce)

“Once in a while I say, 'Go for it' and I eat chocolate.” (Claudia Schiffer)

"Of all smells, bread; of all tastes, salt." (George Herbert)

"An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh." (Will Rogers)

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." (Mark Twain)

“Sacred cows make the best hamburger.” (Mark Twain)

tequila2

"אהבה וביצים במיטבן כשהן טריות" (אנונימי)

"מי שאוכל לבד, נחנק לבד" (אנונימי)

"תפוח הוא דבר נהדר, עד שניסית אפרסק" (ג'ורג דה מורייה)

"לעולם אל תסמוך על שף רזה" (אלמוני)

"Never eat more than you can lift." (Miss Piggy)

"The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am." (Charles Pierce)

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label." (Mark Twain)

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?" (Anonymous)

"קשה יש רק בלחם, וגם אותו אוכלים" (אנונימי)

"Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend." (Zenna Schaffer)

"My favorite animal is steak." (Fran Lebowitz)

“All I ask of food is that it doesn't harm me.”  (Michael Palin)

"שוקולד לא משמין. משמין מי שאוכל אותו" (אנונימי)

"איך עושה פרה? תססס…" (אנונימי)

cows

"No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention." (Christopher Morley)

"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti." (Sophia Loren)

"You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times." (Morley Safer)

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. " (Douglas Adams)

"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question "How can we eat?" the second by the question "Why do we eat?" and the third by the question "Where shall we have lunch?" (Douglas Adams)

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." (Douglas Adams)

"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." (Johnny Carson)

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." (Erma Bombeck)

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before." (Rita Runder)

"Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat." (Jim Davis)

"I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking." (Katherine  Cebrian)

"Artichokes  are just plain annoying. After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." (Miss Piggy)

"As viscous as motor oil swirled in a swamp, redolent of burnt bell peppers
nested in by incontinent mice and a finish reminiscent of the dregs of a
stale can of Coca-Cola that someone has been using as an ashtray. Not a bad
drink, though." (Excerpt from "The Moose Turd Wine Tasting" by T. A. Nonymous)

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יומני מחניודה 21: חיות לילה

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