The night of all nights

מאת עודד ~ 16 בפברואר, 2010. בקטגוריית: English, אלכוהול, הגיגים, ליקר.

(A gloomy bed time story for alcoholic kids)

הקטע הבא נכתב בינואר 2005, בשעה 2 בלילה. גרתי בדירת שני חדרים ליד הים בהרצליה. באותו זמן עסקתי רבות בפיתוח ליקרים ושיכרים, כך שכל שטח רצפה פנוי בדירה הולאם לטובת מיכל תסיסה גדול, ערימת בקבוקים או פירות בתהליך.

P8154032(זה לא הבית שלי, זו חנות באדינבורו, סקוטלנד באוגוסט אותה שנה)

 

Kanat alsa'a taduku althaniya ashara…

…the time was around midnight as Oded was sitting on his latest-state-of-the-art-way-too-much-pulled-to-the-back computer chair, typing an electronic mail-message to his brother – telling him about a mysterious loss of 1 liter of good vodka. He never could have guessed what was about to happen 10 minutes later. After 2-3 hours of banana liqueur filtering, he was finally about to finish this day with preparing 5 liqueur bottles to his boss (the famous ornithologist who fell in love with the sweetness of the winery products). When moving a 4 liter glass aging-container filled with fresh sweet banana liqueur from one point at the kitchen to another, the jar decided to stop being a jar and smash into the working surface. At that point the fluid inside that jar failed to hold tight to the slippery round glass walls and sped towards the floor, keeping one of the first Newton laws in mind (gravity is a bitch, ain't it ?).

"Disaster" was the first word that came to Oded's mind, a second after "shawarma" and half a nanosecond before "shaise!". He was now standing in a middle of a banana liqueur reservoir that was spreading in the kitchen faster than universe, with his wet sharwal and kipi shoes, thinking how marvelous it could have been had he fallen asleep in front of the TV set, tearing up the sheets with his snores.  His beloved Roni came to see what all the noise was about, avoiding the passion fruit pile that was waiting in the living room with an innocent frown on its face, had it had face. Oded was standing in the kitchen with a curious half-a-jar looking object. The air in the house smelled rather like a banana orchard and a homeless' bench at the same time. He had on his face the look of a basketball player who failed to catch the ball with his hands and his head took the ricochet.

She helped the poor guy absorb 4 liters of a fine banana liqueur (30 nis a 500ml bottle, by the way) and went directly to sleep, avoiding again the passion fruit pile which seemed like something funny has just happened.

Good night.

 

התגובה של דני לסיפורו העצוב של ע. היתה המוצלחת מכולן:

Holly shit! I guess some of the stuff is burning now its way towards the core of the earth.

כתבות בנושאים דומים:

אתה מתחיל הכי מהר שלך ולאט לאט אתה מגביר
עגול, אבל פחות
התקפת בלדי

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